Swashbuckler (1976) Reviewed

The generically named Swashbuckler (1976) is indeed generic, which does not, unfortunately, prevent it from being distinctly bad. Much of the credit for the film's shortcomings belong to the screenplay. There are limits to what even the greatest actors can do with a rotten script, which is why they are normally choosy (although there are occasional lapses of judgment as in the cases of Robert Shaw, James Earl Jones, and Geneviève Bujold). There is, however, no shortage of actors willing to turn in an appalling performance appropriate to the lousiness of their lines (for which we may be truly thankful to Peter Boyle and Beau Bridges).

Set in Jamaica in 1718, we are informed at the beginning of the film that this is the glorious age of piracy, when buccaneers fought the oppressive rule of colonial governors throughout the Caribbean, and that the most famous pirate of all was Captain Ned Lynch. This is straightforward enough. We have the setting, the conflict, the protagonist, and the antagonist neatly summarized. Undoubtedly there will be piratical antics, imperialist depredations, wrongs to be righted, and a love-hate romantic interest thrown in somewhere. But first things first. Something bad is about to happen to someone we don't know, but we know they don't deserve it because the townspeople we don't know appear to disapprove. In this case the victim is Nick Debrett (Jones), who is about to be hanged by the lazily named Major Folly (Bridges), which is contrary to the wishes of the general population of Kingston, Jamaica. As luck would have it (and as the music informs us in no uncertain terms), the heroes arrive just in the nick of time aboard the good ship Blarney Cock (played by the Golden Hinde II, a full-scale replica of Sir Francis Drake's famous ship) and save the day with cannon fire, rope-swinging, and piratey boisterousness. At this point we are introduced to Captain Ned Lynch (Shaw), who loves nothing better than fighting, robbing, wenching, and composing limericks.

In short order we are also introduced to Lord Durant (Boyle), the decadent, depraved, despotic governor of Jamaica whose 20th century American accent does nothing to undermine the quality of the fine script. We are also introduced to Lord Durant's most prominent oppressed citizens, our heroine Jane Barnet (Bujold) and her mother, Lady Barnet (Louisa Horton), who have been evicted from their mansion and deprived of their possessions after Sir James Barnet (Bernard Behrens) is found guilty of integrity and therefore imprisoned.

The story, of course, leads inexorably to encounters (and conflict) between Ned Lynch and Jane Barnet, conflict between them and Lord Durant, and the inevitable Daring Rescue Attempt followed by the inevitable Climactic Duel. (I'm not giving anything away. Every element of the plot is announced via semaphore by a flag-wielding screenwriter.)

It is a pity such beautiful cinematography and scenery were wasted on such an utterly banal story and apparently random casting. If Avery Schreiber can land a role in the film (as the pirate Polonski), it is surely an indicator that nothing should be taken seriously. The stunts and fight scenes are functional, but largely unremarkable. As a whole, despite the location and obviously substantial budget, Swashbuckler seems more like a 1970s made-for-television movie than a period adventure film intended for the silver screen. There is never that moment of immersion into the story that is so necessarily a part of any good movie, especially an escapist one.

Swashbuckler has one factor that simultaneously redeems and condemns it: Peter Boyle as Lord Durant. Playing his part just as dreadfully as it was written, Boyle reduces his character to the dimensions of a villain in a Mel Brooks comedy (coincidentally having starred in Young Frankenstein two years earlier). Amongst his lines, some of the most absurd include, "Let the bitch try and take me," "I serve one master, and his name is Darkness," and, fittingly, "Draw the curtains. The farce is ended!" — a line exclaimed just prior to falling off a balcony.

Writing: Terrible
Directing: Fair
Acting: Poor (Peter Boyle: Terrible)
Cinematography: Good
Stunts: Good
Swordplay: Fair
Panache: Mediocre

Overall Rating: Mediocre
Swashbuckling Rank: Fair


[Originally posted in Cuparius.com on 2 February 2012.]

Addendum

Written by: Jeffrey Bloom and Paul Wheeler
Directed by: James Goldstone
Performed by: Robert Shaw, James Earl Jones, Peter Boyle, Geneviève Bujold, Beau Bridges, et al.