Raiders of the Seven Seas (1953) Reviewed

Raiders of the Seven Seas is another in a long line of perfunctory pirate pictures of the 1950s that is not a musical only because of its lack of song and dance. There is, of course, the Basic Guy, in this case a "legendary" French-Spanish pirate named Barbarossa played by John Payne in as basic a leading man capacity as is possible. He's a Good Guy, but a Rascal, which means he'll frustrate and annoy the leading lady until the inevitable happens. There is the Sidekick known as Peg Leg, played blandly by Lon Chaney, Jr., who is effectively a rescue dog after being saved by Basic Guy from the lash. There is the Hot-Tempered Rich Girl named Alida, played very capably by Donna Reed in spite of the limitations caused by a formulaic screenplay (and whose performance is the sole redeeming feature of the film). And, finally, there are the Bad Guys who act in standard Bad Guy fashion. Oh, and there is an Orphan thrown in for good measure in an attempt to maximize sympathy.

This film is not worthy of analysis or even summarizing. Apart from Reed, it offers nothing in the way of entertainment; apart from a hastily sketched backstory (if that), it contributes nothing to the swashbuckling genre. If you need background noise as you do household chores, you might find it tolerable. (And yes, Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Rifftrax could have made it nearly enjoyable.)

Writing: Poor
Directing: Poor
Acting: Mediocre (Donna Reed: Good)
Cinematography: Poor
Stunts: Mediocre
Swordplay: Mediocre
Panache: Poor

Overall Rating: Poor
Swashbuckling Rank: Mediocre

Written by: John O'Dea and Sidney Salkow
Directed by: Sidney Salkow
Performed by: John Payne, Donna Reed, Lon Chaney, Jr., et al.

Yankee Buccaneer (1952) Reviewed

Yankee Buccaneer (1952) is a forgettable swashbuckling movie loosely inspired by U.S. naval history. The plot has so little to do with reality that I'll dispense with addressing its multitude of historical violations and judge it solely on its lack of merits as a standard pirate movie. It is the 1820s and the United States Navy, determined to quash the outbreak of piracy that has been having a deleterious effect on the U.S. economy since the conclusion of the War of 1812, has sent Lt. David Farragut (Scott Brady) to deliver sealed orders to Commander David Porter (Jeff Chandler). The orders, as one may surmise by the film's title, require the ship and her crew to disguise themselves as pirates and infiltrate the hiding places of the Caribbean pirates so the Navy may better seek them out and destroy them. Breaking out what appear to be brand new Halloween costumes, the officers and crewmen sheepishly don their disguises and embark on a series of misadventures that will involve Portugese, Spaniards, native tribesmen (including one played by Jay Silverheels), a Portugese countess to supply the necessary romance (played by Suzan Ball), and a pirate. Yes, a — as in one — pirate, played with disgrace by Joseph Vitale. If ever an actor has played the part of a pirate more woodenly, then I have yet to see it. The standard comic relief is Chief Petty Officer Link (played by George Mathews), the good-natured oaf who gets into trouble and gets others into trouble, but is loyal to the end — predictably, uninterestingly standard.

Despite the "surprise" of the heroes masquerading as pirates in order to defeat pirates, there are no surprises whatsoever in this film. The dialogue tries strenuously to make everything as clear and obvious as possible, which provides little room for any actual acting to take place (not that I'm forgiving Vitale, who could have been out-acted by an amusement park automaton). The plot is far less interesting than the lives of the historical figures it abducts, and the liberties it takes with history are done neither for the sake of entertainment nor artistic license, but rather for the sake of conformity to formulaic filmmaking. Even for those whose swashbuckling yearnings are simple, there is little on offer here. There is but one brief scene of swordplay in the entire film, and none of the combat scenes involve pirates of any kind. Adhering to the real historical events would have yielded far more action (and pirates) than anything on display in Yankee Buccaneer. In more ways than one, there is nothing to see here. Move along.

Writing: Poor
Directing: Fair
Acting: Mediocre
Cinematography: Good
Stunts: Mediocre
Swordplay: Mediocre/Fair
Panache: Mediocre

Overall Rating: Mediocre
Swashbuckling Rank: Mediocre


[Originally posted in Cuparius.com on 20 August 2013.]

Addendum

Written by: Charles K. Peck, Jr.
Directed by: Frederick De Cordova
Performed by: Jeff Chandler, Scott Brady, Suzan Ball, Joseph Calleia, George Mathews, et al.