Raiders of the Seven Seas (1953) Reviewed

Raiders of the Seven Seas is another in a long line of perfunctory pirate pictures of the 1950s that is not a musical only because of its lack of song and dance. There is, of course, the Basic Guy, in this case a "legendary" French-Spanish pirate named Barbarossa played by John Payne in as basic a leading man capacity as is possible. He's a Good Guy, but a Rascal, which means he'll frustrate and annoy the leading lady until the inevitable happens. There is the Sidekick known as Peg Leg, played blandly by Lon Chaney, Jr., who is effectively a rescue dog after being saved by Basic Guy from the lash. There is the Hot-Tempered Rich Girl named Alida, played very capably by Donna Reed in spite of the limitations caused by a formulaic screenplay (and whose performance is the sole redeeming feature of the film). And, finally, there are the Bad Guys who act in standard Bad Guy fashion. Oh, and there is an Orphan thrown in for good measure in an attempt to maximize sympathy.

This film is not worthy of analysis or even summarizing. Apart from Reed, it offers nothing in the way of entertainment; apart from a hastily sketched backstory (if that), it contributes nothing to the swashbuckling genre. If you need background noise as you do household chores, you might find it tolerable. (And yes, Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Rifftrax could have made it nearly enjoyable.)

Writing: Poor
Directing: Poor
Acting: Mediocre (Donna Reed: Good)
Cinematography: Poor
Stunts: Mediocre
Swordplay: Mediocre
Panache: Poor

Overall Rating: Poor
Swashbuckling Rank: Mediocre

Written by: John O'Dea and Sidney Salkow
Directed by: Sidney Salkow
Performed by: John Payne, Donna Reed, Lon Chaney, Jr., et al.