'Tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which I nearly missed on account of being marooned on this metaphorical desert isle where nary a message of piratical origins has reached this wretched soul for longer than I can recollect. When have I last crossed cutlasses, fired a cannon, or buried any treasure? I cannot say, but it has been far too long, arr, far too long. I hope this message, tucked in an empty rum bottle, finds ye well, and I well hope ye can find me here whilst I'm still amongst the living and not a pile of sun-bleached bones.
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